Two Ways to Reduce Intense Emotions
By: Sean McGowan, PsyD, ABPP
When working with our clients, we oftentimes hear about difficulties in managing intense emotions. Experiencing panic attacks, rage and angry outbursts, embarrassment, and despair can be very disruptive to a person’s daily life. When a person experiences any intense emotion, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, to think clearly or act reasonably. For this reason, we teach our clients a few tried and tested methods to help bring down the intensity of their emotions.
Before describing these techniques, imagine that the intensity of your emotions fall on a scale that goes from zero to 100, with 100 meaning the most intense emotion you ever felt and zero meaning total peace and tranquility. When you are at a 70 or above, your thinking and judgment are likely going to be short-circuited and impaired. This is where these techniques come in handy. If you are experiencing an emotion that is over 70 on the scale, these techniques may be able to bring you down to a 60 or 50. Just enough to pause and think a little more clearly about what you are experiencing and need to do. Please note that these techniques won’t bring your emotions all the way down to zero or eliminate how you feel. Oftentimes the way we feel is natural and expected. Thus, it is important that you continue to experience the emotion, but not experience so much of it that it either paralyzes you or makes you do something that you later regret. “Tipping your temperature” and “paced breathing” are two techniques regularly taught in a treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy that can help you reduce the intensity of your emotions (Linehan, 2015).
Before you go off and try the “tipping the temperature” technique, please heed a few cautionary statements as not everyone should use this. Using this coping strategy can reduce your heart rate rapidly, and, for some people, this may be dangerous. If you are on beta-blockers, have heart disease, a cold, or anorexia or bulimia nervosa, you should only use the technique with the approval of your medical providers. If you are not sure if you meet any of these criteria, consult with your medical provider first. I also encourage teenagers to talk with their parents and obtain their consent first before trying this technique.
Tipping your temperature is the name of a technique that tries to activate your dive reflex. If you have ever jumped into a very cold pool, river, or lake, you likely know all about the dive reflex. The dive reflex is our body’s defense mechanism when we are placed in cold water. It increases our chance of survival in this environment. When you activate the dive reflex, your body will direct its blood to vital organs and your heart will slow down to reduce the consumption of oxygen (Freeman, 2020). We can activate the dive reflex in a controlled way by closing our eyes and submerging our face past our temples in cold water (around 50 degrees Fahrenheit) for about ten seconds. If you don’t have a bowl of cold water available, you can also place a cold pack on your forehead or on the back of your neck. This will likely decrease your heart rate and help you become more focused on the sensations of the water or ice. When activated, the dive reflex will naturally bring down the intensity of any emotion experienced.
Paced breathing is another technique that can quickly bring down the intensity of emotions. There are a lot of ways to slow down your breathing. YouTube has some helpful videos on “diaphragmatic breathing” and “box breathing” that guide you through these methods of slowing your breathing. What I typically recommend is that your exhale should be slower than your inhale. Another recommendation I make, if slowing your exhale is not helpful, is to try inhaling through your nose, holding your breath, exhaling through your mouth, and holding your breath, each done on a four count. So it goes like this: inhale through your nose slowly for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, exhale slowly through your mouth for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, and repeat. Try to do this at least ten times. That usually will help slow down your heart rate and produce a relaxation effect. If you find that holding your breath for four seconds is too uncomfortable, try doing each part of the exercise for three seconds instead. Or, if you feel like you can hold your breath longer and be comfortable while doing it, then try to lengthen how long you inhale, exhale, and hold your breath. Do what works for you!
For clients who regularly suffer from intense emotions, I oftentimes encourage them to practice paced breathing for two minutes at least three times a day: when they wake up, mid-day, and right before they go to sleep. The more you practice this skill, the easier it will be to use when you really need it. For a future blog post, I will introduce another way of relating to your intense emotions by describing and discussing mindfulness. If you suffer from chronically intense emotions that interfere with your daily life and would like to learn additional strategies to cope, then I would encourage you to contact McGowan Psychological Services at 919-241-7972 for a free 15-minute, phone consultation.
References
Freeman, A.M. (2020). Physiology, Dive Reflex. StatPearls Publishing, LLC: Treasure Island, Florida.
Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition. Guilford Press: New York.
**This blog is not intended as medical advice or provision of a diagnosis, and should in no way replace consultation with a medical or mental health professional. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a Licensed Psychologist.