I Found a Therapist! Now What? (Part 2)

This blog post is a follow-up to the prior post titled “Finding a Therapist- Part 1.” Let us imagine you have found a therapist (or were assigned a therapist from your local graduate program or free clinic). Once you begin working with a therapist, the next step is to get an idea of whether they are a good match for you. This can be challenging to do, but I have four recommendations that may help with this. 

Step 1: Listen to Your Gut.

First, I recommend that you agree to continue working with the therapist only if you feel comfortable and safe in telling them things that make you feel embarrassed, depressed, anxious, or guilty. This may take several sessions, especially if one of the reasons you are in therapy has to do with problems in trusting others. However, most people get a sense of their comfort with the therapist in the first several sessions.

Step 2: Consider Whether the Proposed Plan Makes Sense.

Second, I recommend that you continue with a clinician who offers a clear understanding of your concerns AND a clear explanation of how they may be able to help you. The therapist you work with should be able to provide you with an explanation of their approach and what you can expect in therapy. Therapies and therapists differ on how directive and structured they are in treatment. Even for those therapists who are not very directive, they usually will provide some minimal information about what they expect of you in the treatment and what they will do in the therapy. 

Step 3: Research the Plan.

Third, I suggest that you ask questions about the recommended treatment and do some research on the approach. Most mainstream therapies (i.e., Contextual Behavioral, Cognitive Behavioral, Person-Centered, Relational, Psychodynamic Therapy and their offshoots) provide research support for a range of psychological problems. Nevertheless, I would suggest that you do your own research on the treatment, as it will give you a better understanding of what you can expect and its effectiveness. This will also give you more buy-in to the treatment.

Step 4: Give Feedback to Your Therapist.

Fourth, I recommend that if you do not think the therapist is a good match, take the time to share this with the therapist. That will do three things: 1) it will provide you with additional information about the style and approach of the therapist (and this may actually build trust and rapport), 2) discussing this may allow the therapist to provide you with other, more appropriate referrals, and 3) it will give the therapist feedback about what to consider for their next client. Therapists are far from perfect. We make mistakes and sometimes fumble throughout the therapy hour. Hearing feedback about this is important, and the therapist’s response to this will give you a sense of how they operate and treat you. Keep in mind that you are the consumer in this situation. If you do not feel comfortable with the therapist (and, hopefully, you and the therapist have discussed this concern in an open way), then you do not have to continue with them. 

I hope this blog post provides you some guidance about how to select a therapist that may be a good match for you. If you have any questions about therapy services at McGowan Psychological Services, please give us a call ( 919-241-7972) for a free, 15-minute consultation. I wish you the best in your search and congratulations on taking this first step!